With Alison complaining about the crop of current Christmas carols can't we create something better ourselves?
I'm not suggesting that we actually write new songs that sounds like far too much work. So why don't we change the words to existing Christmas songs by slamming as many popular references in as we can.
For example:
I wish it could be x-factor every day,
With Leon is singing,
and Simon being gay,
Oh I wish it could be x-factor ever day,
Let Dann-i, dry out, for Christmas.
I'm sure you can all do better - if I wasn't so hung over I'm sure I could do better too.
Have at it.
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5 comments:
I don't want a lot for Christmas
There is just one thing I need
I want fifty million smackers
To satisfy my naked greed
Ooh I just want it for my own
Hear me bitch and hear me moan
Make it come to pass
Macca all I want for Christmas is cash
*duh-dum-duh-dum-duh-dum-da*
I've been moaning to the papers
Shrieking on GMTV
A gold-digging unidexter
With a doorstop for a knee
I'll hang up my unused stocking
There upon the fireplace
I won't rest until my lawyers
Wipe off Macca's "thumbs up" face
Ooh I want money here tonight
But my husband's being tight
Make it come to pass,
Macca all I want for Christmas is ca-a-a-sh.
(Oooh, Macca)
All the lights are shining
So brightly everywhere
The sound of Linda's haunting
Laughter fills the air
Fuck the mistletoe and holly
Give me all your lovely lolly
Santa won't you bring me
What I really need
Which is more than half Paul's money and all his mansion deeds
Ooh I don't want a lot this Christmas
I don't even want remorse
The only "claus" to make me happy
Comes in a lucrative divorce
Ooh I just want it for my own
To pay off my student loan
Make my wish come true!
Macca all I want for Christmas...
I-i-i-i-is...
YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU(r fortune).
*applause*
Brilliant, '...doorstop for a knee' made me spit my coffee (OK, if you must pry, a relatively large, early evening gin & tonic) all over the laptop...
Anyway, quick first thoughts:
'Manger! High Voltage!'
'A Child Is Born Slippy'
'How Can I Love You Myrrh?'
and anything by Sleigh-er (sorry)
I may try some lyrics in a bit...
how about a random collection of thoughts
Slayer bells ring to loud to listen
got tattoos, studs and piercings
moshing along
girls dressed as doms
Gloomy in a death metal wonderland
Did britpop thing now its boring
got fed-up with Gallagher warring
Tim Wheeler can't sing
Richey Manic been seen
Carving in a carvery, not his hand
Now what is wrong with buying CDs
Stack up great next to my vinyl LPs
My iPod is nice
Got nearly two dozen bytes
But can someone tell me how to download
Jingle Hell,
Rhianna smells,
Pete Docherty's gone away,
Winehouse will,
take some pills,
and cancel gigs 'til May! Heh!
'How Can I Love You Myrrh?'
This is particularly good because that's the way she actually sings it.
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